By Reverend Laurie DeMott

Prayer can be a very intimate act. A seminary professor, working on an article about prayer, asked a number of her friends and colleagues how they felt to have someone pray for them. Their answers included these words: "comforted, vulnerable, grateful, honored, humbled, awkward but appreciative, like someone really cares." If that is how we feel when another person prays for us, how would we feel to hear the prayerful thoughtful words of Jesus rising heavenward on our behalf, right then and there as he sat by our side? Perhaps the disciples felt all of these things as they listened to Jesus pray on their behalf. Maybe they too felt vulnerable, grateful, and humbled. Jesus had spent considerable time at that last supper with them reminding them of all that he had taught and said in the days now past and all that he promised for them in the days yet to come, but his very last words to his disciples before he faced the cross were given as a prayer. Jesus bowed his head and prayed for them while they listened.

In my family, we have a tradition that on a person's birthday, instead of saying our usual grace at dinner, we say a prayer for the one whose birthday it is. We give thanks to God for all of the things that make that person unique and precious to us, and then we pray that the next year may bring them goodness and joy. It is always a little embarrassing for the one having the birthday to be the focus of our prayers and yet in spite of that awkward feeling of being the center of attention, there is a warmth and appreciation you receive by listening to your family express gratitude to God for your presence in their life. Now, we could just sit around the table and all tell the birthday boy or girl why we like them, like one of those touchy feely exercises you do at team building workshops, but it's not really the same as hearing those thoughts expressed as a prayer. When people pray for you in your presence, it's as if you have been given the privilege of eavesdropping on a conversation between that person and God, and in your eavesdropping you discover just how much both the person and God care for you and how much they want for your future.

A prayer said on behalf of another person is called an intercessory prayer, and when we in the church talk about intercessory prayer, we often talk about it from the perspective of the person who is doing the praying. Think of all of the bible studies where you have discussed the theology and the practice of intercessory prayer. How should I pray for others? we ask. Is it an acceptable prayer for me to ask God to heal someone who is sick? Does intercessory prayer work and if so, how does it work? I have seen study groups get themselves all tangled in knots over the purpose, theology, and methodology of intercessory prayer, yet I have never once heard a person facing trouble or illness say, "Before you pray for me, let's discuss the metaphysical question this prayer raises concerning God's omnipotence versus freewill." Inevitably our discussions of the place, the methods, and the theological underpinnings of intercessory prayer come from the side of the one who prays, because when we pray for another person, we have the luxury of standing back from that prayer and considering the matter intellectually. When we are the prayee, however -- when it is we who are in trouble or afraid and someone's prayers rise to heaven on our behalf, we are simply moved to be the recipient of their attention and grace. In those dark moments of our lives, we are most in need of simply knowing that we have not been forgotten. Even if we wonder whether those prayers have the power to cure our cancer or find us a job, those doubts are at a very visceral level. The intellectual questions about intercessory prayer are pushed aside and we cling to the hope and comfort we find in knowing that even if it turns out that their prayers cannot heal us or solve all of our problems, at least we know by their prayers that we are not alone.

And if it is comforting to know that others are keeping you in their prayers, to actually sit in the presence of a person as they pray for you, as they ask for God's watch care over you -- is humbling. Now, I must add this disclaimer -- I am sure that many of you have had the experience of being prayed for in a way that is not moving at all. Many years ago, I was called to the hospital to be with Agnes Rhodes because her husband Everett had just died. When I arrived, I found Agnes not only in grief as one would expect but also angry and upset. A minister from Hornell had been visiting a parishioner in a nearby room, and when he heard about Everett's death, he insisted on coming in to say a prayer for Everett.

"I hated his prayer," Agnes fumed. "He didn't know Everett and he doesn't know me, yet he came in and said all of these flowery words over Everett like he was granting us such a favor by praying for us. He just had no right to do that!"

Listening to someone pray for you when you have not asked for their prayers can feel intrusive; and listening to someone pray for you who doesn't know you can feel like an exercise in religiosity instead of genuine concern. But listening to someone pray for you in honest friendship in words that demonstrate their deep awareness of who you are and the troubles you face, can be humbling. Because the conversation is between that person and God, you have to sit quietly and listen, something that is quite hard for some of us. You can't interrupt and say, "Aw shucks, stop saying such nice things about me. I don't really deserve it," nor can you take control and say, "What I really think you should be praying is such and such..." You must remain a silent witness to a conversation about you between that person and God as they create a bridge between heaven and earth on your behalf.

When we are the recipient of intercessory prayer, our theological questions about whether it works and how it works are not as important as the simple fact that the prayer breaks through our isolation and assures us we are not alone. On a recent episode of "The Daily Show", Jon Stewart interviewed the author of a book called War which depicts the lives of soldiers in a remote area of Afghanistan. The author said that for these men, dying is not the worst thing that can happen to them. The worst thing that can happen, he said, is that one of their fellow soldiers die because they didn't do everything they could to protect him. When we offer to pray for another person, we are in effect saying to them, "God and I have got your back. We will place ourselves between you and trouble, and I don't know if everything can be made right for you, but I promise you this -- you can know that we will be with you every step of whatever journey you may face. We will not desert you."

The famous preacher Charles Spurgeon said that intercessory prayer is a vital and necessary part of our faith life, because it is necessary for both those who are being prayed for and also for the ones who are doing the praying. When we lift up others in prayer, we are moved beyond our self-absorbed worlds into connection with others.

"You know how some farmers pray," Spurgeon says: "'Lord, send fair weather in this part of the country.... Never mind about [the crops] being spoilt anywhere else, for that will send the markets up.' ... Let us have done with such. Let us be Christians; let us have expanded souls and minds that can feel for others. Let us weep with them that weep, and rejoice with them that rejoice; and as a Church and as private persons, we shall find the Lord will [free us from] our captivity when we pray for our friends."

For hours, Jesus had sat at that table with his disciples answering their questions -- he was the preacher, he was the teacher -- but now in his final hour, he would simply be their friend. He said, "Let me pray for you," and then he lifted his eyes to heaven and shared with God all of his hopes and concerns for these friends as they silently listened.

How would you feel if Jesus sat next to you and prayed to God about you?

The gospel of John tells us that Jesus has prayed for you -- that on the night when he prayed for his disciples, he prayed as well for all of those who would come after them. He prayed for all of you, you who are today's disciples earnestly trying to live the lessons that he taught, those who have given your life to him. And so now, I invite you to close your eyes. Imagine Jesus sitting in the room with you and listen as I pray the words he is offering on your behalf:

"Father , I have revealed your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word."

This one who is with me, Lord, for whom I offer this prayer today, has been your child from the beginning. Your son, your daughter, and you entrusted them to me. I have taught them everything you gave me to teach and they have listened well. They have tried to understand and worked to keep the word that I shared with them. You would be proud of your son, God, proud of your daughter, as I am proud of them.

"I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost."

They have faced many temptations, Father, and sometimes he has been been weak, sometimes she has made mistakes, but I've been with them through it all, guarding their backs, keeping them from falling entirely. Even when they thought everything was lost and there was no hope, I pulled them back from the brink because I knew you would be broken hearted to lose them God. You trusted me with this your son, this your daughter, and I am bringing them back to you. Maybe they are a little scarred and wounded, but I have gone into the battle before them so that they will see that the wounds will not kill them. May they trust in me and believe that whatever happens, we can make it through to the other side.

And Loving Father, I ask finally that "they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one."

May these your sons and your daughters find the friends they need in one another. May they be moved by the care they receive on one another's behalf. May their prayers for each other be as deeply felt as the prayers I offer on their behalf. May they have patience with one another's weaknesses and sympathy for each other's troubles and may they find joy in each other's company. I love them as you love them; may they love one another with as great a love. God, I've given everything you asked of me to ensure that your son, your daughter, will open their hearts to you and now I place them back in your hands again in the hope that my love has made a difference. Amen.