By Reverend Laurie DeMott

But let's leave that confusing issue for another week and talk today about the one disciple that almost everyone can come up with when asked to list the twelve. This is the guy that has most endeared himself to our hearts. This is the guy who is known even to those who have never cracked open a Bible because of his appearance in so many jokes that have him manning the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter has become in our tradition the apostle you'd most like to have a beer with. Even in our jokes, when some dead bloke tries to gain entry into heaven, Peter's enforcement of the rules is accompanied by an unspoken sigh of understanding because Peter remembers all too well the weaknesses and stupidities of being human. More than any of the other apostles, Peter can look at our own failures and say, "Yep, been there, done that."

The biblical account of Peter is pretty consistent. Peter became a leader of the growing Christian movement after Jesus' resurrection. He worked with Jesus' brother James to establish the early church and was an important voice in supporting Paul's mission to the Gentiles. Paul viewed his own ministry as being in tandem with Peter's and wrote to the church of Galatia, "... I had been entrusted with the gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been entrusted with the gospel to the circumcised." Peter was one of the first disciples that Jesus called to him and Peter is present at nearly every significant event in Jesus' life ... except for one. He was not at the foot of the cross. And it is this absence as much as his presence in the rest of Jesus' ministry that defines Peter for all of the generations of the faithful to follow. Peter was a loyal, committed, sincere ... and cowardly disciple.

It was Peter who dared to step out of the boat into the surging waves to prove his faith to Jesus.

And it was Peter who sank in those waves and almost drowned when his fear overwhelmed him.

It was Peter who declared his support of Jesus on the night of Jesus' arrest boasting that even if everyone else deserted Jesus, he, Peter, would remain steadfast.

And it was Peter who feigned ignorance, pretending he had never even heard of this man Jesus when Jesus was dragged away by the soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter's fear froze his tongue and his heart.

It was Peter who told the the leaders of the young Christian church that Paul's mission to the Gentiles was God ordained and then even went to Paul's church in Antioch to eat with the Gentiles in an act of solidarity and support.

And it was Peter who slunk away from that Gentile table when his Jewish-Christian friends showed up fearful for his reputation, causing Paul to explode in a tirade over Peter's gutlessness.

Peter was a loyal, committed, sincere, and cowardly disciple. He was willing to face stormy seas, Roman swords, or societal judgment one minute and then shrank away the next to hide in a corner hoping that no one would force him to make good on his boasts.

And that's why we love Peter because he's so much like us. We come to church because we want to be good people who love without reservation. We want to that person who battles injustice with the ferocity of the Incredible Hulk. We want our community to look at us with respect and say, "Now there's a person of integrity you can count on." We want to be fearless in compassion, fearless for justice, fearless on behalf of our families and friends, fearless toward the future, fearless for Christ.

But more often than not we are the frightened Peter hunkered down in the corner hoping no one forces us to make good on our boasts because we're just plained scared. Yes, Peter is our kind of disciple because when we look at Peter, it's like looking in a mirror. "There I am, God," we think, "a person of strong ideals and even greater shortcomings." We love Peter because in him we see a hope for our own salvation. If Peter, bumbling good intentioned and cowardly Peter can be remembered as one of the saints of the Bible, maybe there is hope for us.

In an article called Fear and Faith, Max Lucado writes, "Great acts of faith are seldom born out of cold calculation. It wasn't logic that caused Moses to raise his staff on the bank of the Red Sea [with Pharaoh's chariots coming up behind him]. It wasn't research that convinced Naaman to dip seven times in the river [desperate for a cure for his leprosy]. It wasn't common sense that caused Paul to abandon the Law and embrace grace. And it wasn't a confident committee that prayed in a small room in Jerusalem for Peter's release from prison. It was a fearful, desperate, band of backed into the corner believers....

"At the beginning of every act of faith," Lucado says, "there is often a seed of fear."

Peter's faith almost always began in fear. He boasted of courage but the boasts must have been as much to convince himself as others because the fear bubbled up again and again and again, and yet somehow when all was said and done, this most cowardly of men because the greatest of disciples. Maybe his faith didn't grow in spite of his fear; maybe it grew because of his fear. Maybe it was his fear that in the end brought him closer to Christ. In every story in which Peter succumbs to his fear, he is saved by the hand of Christ reaching out to him: Jesus plucks him from the water to keep him from drowning. Jesus greets him after the crucifixion and speaks a word of forgiveness. Jesus responds to his doubts by declaring him to be the rock upon which the church will be founded. Even in that prison cell, far beyond the reach of the earthly hand of Jesus, Peter is awakened by the touch of an angel sent to him on the wings of the prayers of a congregation.

We celebrate bravery in our culture but bravery is actually a very rare trait. Bravery is the ability to rally one's own internal resources to face challenges that are beyond the capabilities of most ordinary people. One of the most famous telegrams in history was sent by a French General to his commanders during a war which said, "My right flank is crumbling, my left is totally blocked. Situation excellent. I attack!"

The problem with such bravery is two fold. First of all, it is easy to confuse ego with courage and charge brazenly into a situation that we end up just making worse by our over-confidence. And secondly, when we are so determined to be self-sufficient and strong, every mistake we make and every set back we encounter becomes an additional link in the chain of failure that immobilizes us in a prison of our making. If Jesus hadn't been there, Peter's certainty that he could walk on water would have ended in his drowning beneath the waves. It was only Peter's desperate fear that caused him to reach out for Jesus' hand to save him, to admit that he needed the help of a friend, of a savior, of a church who would pray him to freedom.

At the beginning of every act of faith there is often a seed of fear.

What are you afraid of right now in your life? If you could peel away the skin hiding all of our emotions away from the eyes of others, I think you'd find emanating from this sanctuary a bubbling cauldron of fears and anxieties. There are people here worried about their health or the health of a loved one. There are people among us trying to figure out how they are going to make ends meet. There are people anxious about their children's future. There are those who wonder how they will have the strength to meet challenges ahead of them, or frightened of what tomorrow may bring. And there are the large and gnawing fears -- that the world will never change, that injustice is too intractable, that everything we have worked for all of our life in the end will make no difference.

When we believe that we must combat those fears by rallying our own inner courage and by standing strong, the thought of our own weakness can immobilize us. We can become literally imprisoned by our fears.

Or those fears can move us to faith. With the waves churning dangerously beneath our feet threatening to pull us under, we can finally call out, "I can't do this by myself. Lord, save me!" and take the hand of Christ.

What are you afraid of today? Let us pray an angel to you who will break the walls of your prison cell so that you might see the hand of Jesus reaching out to you. Let us pray an angel to you who will free you to love and healing and life.

God who sees, God who saves, reach out a hand to all of those who are fearful today. May they trust that you will walk by their side through whatever challenges they face. May they hear your word of forgiveness and feel the joy of your goodness. And may they be assured that no matter what tomorrow may bring, you will give them the strength and the wisdom and most importantly, the company of these faithful friends to see them through. Amen.