By Reverend Laurie DeMott

I say that, not to embarrass John, although that is always kind of fun for a parent to do that, but because I have used that same approach in working with the kids in our church. If you happen to walk into the Bergren Room while I am leading Hot Rock Bible Stories, you will see kids flying around the room, bouncing off the walls, and generally being normal children unleashed. Any child who has been through Hot Rock Bible Stories knows that I will and I can rein them in when their energy begins to interfere with the goals of our time together, but compared to most people, I keep those reins intentionally loose.

And when those kids get to be youth group age, they discover that my philosophy remains unchanged. Manuals on Youth Ministry advise youth group leaders to spend the first session of every year going over the rules of the group, and in a nod to democracy, they encourage you to have the kids participate in writing those rules so that they have a “sense of ownership” about them with the hope that kids will be more likely to keep rules if they themselves have written them. But I have always dispensed with that advice and cannot remember a time when I ever got out the newsprint and a marker to write up a list of rules for our time together. And consequently, there have been days when, just as in Hot Rock Bible Stories, adults will pass by and see our youth bouncing off the walls and wonder why Laurie doesn’t pay more attention to their behavior.

But I am paying attention, very close attention, because to say that I have few rules is not the same as saying there are no rules. In fact, I have one rule; one rule I impose on all of the children of our church whether in Hot Rock Bible Stories or youth group. There is one rule I insist on, one rule that is sacrosanct for me. It isn’t a rule that arises from some mutual discussion and negotiation with the kids but is a rule I decree with absolute authority from on high. And the only time our kids are liable to elicit a very stern warning from me is if they break this one rule. They can bounce off the walls, they can create a din, they can run around the King David room like banshees, or sprawl all over the furniture in the Bergren Room like a herd of lazy cats, and though I might on occasion ask them to calm down or listen up, I won’t shake my finger at them in strict warning unless they cross this one line and break this one rule.

Now, I imagine all of our youth are sitting here scratching their heads trying to think of what this rule is because the reality is that I rarely have to enforce it. But it’s there. And if they think back over our years together, I imagine that they will be able to recall a few times when I spoke sharply to them with uncharacteristic sternness and they will nod and say, “Oh yeah, that is the rule.”

My one rule is that I expect kindness from them. I do not allow the kids to make fun of each other. I do not allow jokes that demean people or groups of people. I will not tolerate comments that belittle another person or show a disregard for someone else’s feelings. I have one rule and it is simple – be kind. And if someone, even in a joking way, says or does anything that violates that rule, I will stop everything we are doing and call them on it.

And I’m pretty sure that everyone sitting here today will agree that that is a pretty good rule but you may wonder why it has to be my only rule. I mean, what’s wrong with asking the kids to be kind and quiet? Why couldn’t I say, “I only have three rules: be kind, don’t interrupt when someone is talking, and no running in the Church Center, especially if there is an adult in the middle of your trajectory?”

This is why.

Brian, Emma, Kenny, and Brendan, I have known you all since you were kids. I have gone on service trips with you and cleaned creeks with you and refereed your 4 Square games and talked about serious topics and frivolous things. I have sung with you, prayed with you, and worshiped with you. As I thought about what to say to you today as you move on to new adventures, something that might shape the way you think about your future, I realized that anything I might say today isn’t going to make a bit of difference if you haven’t been listening to me for all of the years we have spent together. And what I hope that you have heard from me, what I hope you have learned from this congregation, is that the gospel can be summarized in two words: be kind. If I had given you a bunch of rules to follow, you might think that practicing kindness is no more important than remembering to “use your inside voice” in the Bergren room. If I had given you a bunch of rules to follow, you might have grown up thinking that God is just as concerned about your demeanor during Coffee Hour as about your kindness toward others people. If church had been for you a list of rules to memorize and conform to, you might be excused if you left here a little confused by exactly what it is that the Lord requires of you, and so I wanted to keep it very simple. The Bible says it in a thousand ways and Jesus illustrates it with dozens of stories about good Samaritans and Prodigal sons and short tax collectors in sycamore trees – but it all boils down to this: be kind. If you can grow up in this church and somehow miss learning that rule, then you haven’t been paying attention, either to me or to this congregation.

The Union University Church doesn’t expect our members to adhere to a particular creed, but we do expect everyone here to practice kindness. We don’t expect you all to share communion in the same way, but we do expect you to practice kindness. We don’t expect you to all give a certain amount of money or serve on the same boards or even laugh at the same jokes, but we do expect you to practice kindness. And while our kids in their Monday through Saturday live are practicing scales to become accomplished bassoon players or practicing their kicking to become soccer stars, here on Sunday we want them to practice kindness so that when they eventually leave us, being kind will be so natural to them that they will do it without thinking.

Because Brendan, Emma, Kenny, and Brian, there is a world beyond this door desperately in need of kindness, and I’m not talking about a simpy kind of politeness that retreats from the scene when the going gets tough. I’m talking about the kind of kindness that challenges the injustices that treat some people as less worthy of our attention than others, and the kind of kindness that speaks out boldly against bigotry in all of its forms. I’m talking about a kindness that sees every single person as worthy of our attention and respect no matter who they are or even what they have done, a kindness grounded in empathy, compassion, and forgiveness. I’m talking about a kindness with backbone because a strong commitment to a determined kindness has the ability to heal broken hearts and change the world.

Every graduate wants to believe that they can make a difference in the world; we in this church believe that have given you the tool you need to make that difference, and the tool is kindness. Go forth, Emma, Kenny, Brendan, and Brian, and change the world: be kind.